It had been harder than usual to get out of bed that morning. The aching pain that had slowly crept into her joints over the years was moving more swiftly now through her hips and knees. It was a reminder of the dancer she had been all that time ago…when she was a young girl…when she could glide across a stage and feel no fear. When she could still move gracefully and without assistance.
Anna tentatively pulled herself up and carefully swung her body over the edge of the bed. As she leaned over to grab her cane, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.
Where had the days gone? She could see all of them etched in the wrinkles and creases of her face, so she knew she had experienced them. It was only that she couldn’t remember them as clearly or as much as she wanted. And even though she knew she had been given a beautiful life, she couldn’t help but long for more time.
Getting old was such a bitch.
When they were younger, they used to talk about this period of their lives. It had seemed so far away back then…
“Someday, when we’re old, we’ll live together and watch movies all day and drink wine,” her sister would say with a happy giggle. “You’ll still be bossy and I’ll still be a pain, but I promise to listen every now and then to what you have to say.” Their eyes would twinkle as they both tried to think about what it would look like to be old women together, but the fleeting thought would soon disappear as they again embraced their youthful reality. Perhaps a friend had walked into the room and interrupted with a story, or their nieces may have run around the corner of the couch and jumped onto their laps. One of the dogs could have started barking at what their group used to consider nothing, but actually was their raucous laughter. It could have been so many different things that had taken them quickly away from a conversation about a very distant future – because back then, when they were all together, happiness enveloped and protected them from what that someday would actually be.
As Anna came into the room, she saw Alyssa sitting in an armchair watching the television. Her long hair with its glorious streaks of white pulled softly back with two barrettes. She had always kept it long. At first, it was for him. He had loved it that way. So, even though she had sometimes wondered what it would look like shorter, her black mane remained intact. Afterwards…well, she didn’t cut it because it was still for him. Not so much as a tribute though, but because that had been the way she wanted to remember herself. As someone with beautiful long hair who loved him so very, very much.
Anna put her hand on Alyssa’s shoulder as she passed by to take her place on the sofa.
“Why are you walking like an old lady?” her sister asked with a smirk. A glass was sitting on the coffee table in front of her, but it was not filled with wine. Not yet. This one had orange juice.
“Because I AM an old lady you jerk.” Anna shot Alyssa an annoyed look, but then smiled to herself as she turned her head and slowly lowered her very wide butt into the soft cushion closest to the armchair.
“That’s true. You are older than me,” Alyssa smugly replied. “Too bad for you.” She gave Anna a wicked grin as she said that last sentence.
“You’re not funny,” Anna retorted back with a grimace. “Neither one of us is in our seventies anymore. You’re just as old as me now.”
“Huh,” Alyssa grumbled to herself, suddenly unhappy to be reminded of that fact. She reached for the remote control and started flipping through the channels. “What do you want to watch?” she snapped.
“Something good,” Anna responded. “But not one of those shopping channels! We have enough crap and you will just end up buying something stupid.”
“Hey!” Alyssa cried out. “You liked that blanket with the foot things!”
“They were pockets for your feet,” Anna sniped back. “That blanket probably cost more money because of them, and the first time you used it, you ended up tripping and falling when you tried to get up. You could have broken something!”
“My hips and legs were fine thank you,” Alyssa retorted.
“I wasn’t talking about YOU!” Anna clarified. “I was talking about our furniture. You know how much I love this coffee table!” she yelled, as she pointed her cane in its direction. “Speaking of that, put a damn coaster under your glass! I’ve told you a million times!”
“I don’t know where the coasters are!” Alyssa spat back.
“Oh, yes you do!” Anna smirked. “You’re just too lazy to go get one.” She leaned her cane against the sofa and began looking around the room for the dog.
“Whatever!” Alyssa’s face was getting redder by the second. “What about that pan? I don’t remember you calling that pan I got last month stupid!”
“You haven’t even used it! It’s still sitting in the box!” Anna could now feel her face heating up and she turned to stare squarely at her sister.
“Well, I haven’t felt like cooking yet!” Alyssa said indignantly. “Get off my back! No one’s stopping you from using it.” As soon as the words had left her mouth though, she regretted them.
Sadness instantly came over Anna’s face and Alyssa looked down in shame. For a few seconds, there was an awkward silence.
“I don’t want to,” Anna finally said. “You know that…” As her voice drifted off, she was already reaching back into her mind. Her husband had been the one who usually cooked for them, while she happily followed him around the kitchen and simultaneously cleaned up. If she closed her eyes, she could still see him standing in front of the stove with steam rising from a pan and various ingredients strewn all over the counters. It always amazed her how with the simple flick of his wrist he could flip an egg over in the air, and more so, how he never had to measure out anything. He loved great food just as much as she did, and over the years, they had sat together and eaten countless meals that had been seasoned with so much more than flavor. She knew how much pride he had put into his cooking…how every bite was important. To this day, the smell of garlic simmering in olive oil put a lump in her throat.
Anna looked over at Alyssa, whose eyes were now full of tenderness.
“I know sister,” she softly responded. “I’m really sorry.” She reached her left arm out and Anna leaned closer so that she could take her hand. Both held tight to each other for a few moments. Anna began to feel the all too familiar grief start filling up the room.
“Who knew it would really be just the two of us, huh?” Alyssa’s voice was slightly trembling and Anna felt a sharp pang in her heart. After all these years, she still couldn’t stop being protective of her little sister. She hated seeing her in pain. It was inevitable that it would happen though. There were too many memories of them all together…too many reasons to go back and remember. But, she knew it would be best to change the subject as quickly as possible. If she didn’t, a shadow would hang over them all day.
Anna gently let go of Alyssa’s hand and leaned back into the sofa. “Hey! I know what I want to watch. Find that horrible show where all those celebrities sit around complaining about each other.” As she tried to get comfortable, the dog finally walked into the room. He jumped up and nestled his small head onto her lap. She felt herself instantly relax as he let out a soft groan and placed one white paw on her leg. He was old now too.
“Oooohhh! Yes!” Alyssa exclaimed. It was probably more loudly than needed, but she wanted to bring her sister’s mood back around too. “I love that show!” she chirped, as she picked the remote up again in her slightly shaking hand and began searching the channels once more.
They sat together for a couple of hours watching one mindless program after another, until Anna looked at the clock and saw it was almost time for lunch. She knew that meant there would be a knock at the door soon.
“Are you hungry?” she asked Alyssa. “The girls are going to be here any minute now.”
She still called her nieces “the girls”, even though they were in their forties.
“Oh good,” Alyssa replied. “I’m actually starving! I hope they bring something good today though. I don’t want any of that healthy crap.”
Anna rolled her eyes. “You can’t just eat cake for every meal. It’s bad for you!”
“Who cares if it’s bad for me?” Alyssa snorted. “I’ve made it this long, haven’t I?”
Both women began the slow process of getting up, it being even more difficult since they had been sitting for some time now. It was occasions like this when Anna was grateful for her cane. She had tried to convince Alyssa to get one too, but quickly backed off after she threw a glass of wine at her. If Alyssa was mad enough to waste good wine, Anna knew it was best to retreat.
A couple of minutes later, they were bickering again as they began to make their way out of the living room.
“You better be nice to the kids today,” Anna warned. “Sometimes, you think you’re being funny, but you just end up scaring them.”
“I do not!” Alyssa exclaimed. “I’m making them tough!”
“You’re making them afraid! They aren’t going to want to come over and visit anymore if you keep telling them ghost stories. And you definitely need to stop pretending that you’re having a heart attack whenever you think they’re getting bored!” Anna shook her head slowly as she studied the movement of her feet shuffling slowly across the tiled floor.
“But that’s always my favorite part!” Alyssa cackled with glee. She really was just too ridiculous sometimes.
“Well, stop it!” Anna snapped back.
“NO!”
“YES!”
“NO!!!”
“YES!!!”
Outside the front door, unbeknownst to them, Anna and Alyssa’s nieces waited silently. Their four children were standing close behind them, not sure what to think of the noise coming from their great-aunts’ house.
“Why are they yelling?” the youngest one whispered. Ringlets of curly brown hair had escaped her pony tail and were softly hugging the sides of her face.
“Maybe it’s because they hate each other!” the oldest one quickly answered back. As she felt her mother’s eyes looking back down though, her hands shot up and pulled her straight dark hair across her face as a shield.
The other two girls stayed silent, understanding even at their young age that it was the best recourse.
“They don’t hate each other girls.” The two young women looked at each other with knowing smiles, as they nudged their children towards the door. “Sometimes, they just get on each other’s nerves. You all do the same thing when you’ve been playing together all day. Now let’s go inside.”
As they entered the house, the children quickly ran past their squabbling old aunts and towards the kitchen where they knew ice cream would be waiting in the freezer. Their energetic voices flew through the air with youthful ease. The little black dog that was still trying to sleep on the sofa lifted his head to confirm that all of the commotion was coming from them. He then grunted in disapproval as he put it down again and closed his eyes.
“Thank goodness you’re here!” Anna cried. “Your aunt is driving me crazy! We need to just put her in a home already!”
Although the comment was meant to enrage Alyssa further, she was too distracted by the grocery bags in the women’s arms as they walked towards the sound of the children. “What did you bring me? Is there cake in there? Please tell me there’s cake!”
“You can’t just eat cake!!!” Anna replied harshly.
“Fine!” Alyssa shouted. But she was still on a mission. “What about brownies? Did you bring any brownies?”
Anna sighed as she accepted the fact that she was going to lose this battle. She would try to get Alyssa to eat something appropriate for dinner instead. Now was the time for enjoying family.
Both sisters were still following slowly behind, while they tried to make their way to the kitchen. As always, Anna felt her frustration for Alyssa melt away and she reached out to take her hand. They then stopped in the middle of the hallway.
She turned to Alyssa, her eyes twinkling as bright as they did when they were girls. “Only because I don’t want you to fall,” she explained to her little sister. Although, the loving smile on her face clearly said it was more than that…
Alyssa nodded and sweetly smiled back, as she absorbed the warmth of her sister’s touch. There were deep creases on the sides of her turned up mouth – evidence of a life joyfully lived.
“I love you sister,” she whispered.
“I love you too.”
And with hands held tight, while the words floated between them, they began walking again towards the happiness that was pouring out of the kitchen. Still so very grateful to be able to experience today…no matter how much their bodies ached and rattled.
Because they knew that a lifetime didn’t last forever.
But, at least they were together – now and always…as both sisters and best friends.